Bad Girl, Good Business

The 100 Years Club Installment #72: The Chubby Girl Who Tried to Kill Me

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I originally wasn’t going to write about this.

But after four days of IVs, urgent care, high blood pressure readings, hundreds of dollars in medical expenses, and uncomfortable sleep filled with dreams of dead relatives and ex-boyfriends, I caved. Here I go….

The chubby girl is the vestige of my past and always lives in my head. I often struggled with my weight, and when I saw a recent selfie, I decided to succumb to the weight loss craze and get a scrip for one of the miracle drugs at a local medically-supervised weight loss center.

“Hey…it’ll be great!” the chubby girl (CG) whispered. “You’ll drop 10 pounds by the summer, and then you can go back to eating clean and working out without the drugs.”

A year ago, I was in great shape — working out five days a week, eating clean, and feeling terrific. But work stresses, loneliness, and travel took their toll. And that chubby girl was an evil influence. My weight crept up, and I listened to that voice.

Confused about the dosage, I failed to call the doctor’s office and accidentally gave myself 9x the starting dose.

Yeah…I know…I totally f*cked up! But please don’t blame the victim. I’ve suffered enough. And I’m not alone in the OD category, according to these stats.

Apparently, the drug will take four to five weeks to leave my system. No antidote exists. After that,  I’m going back to healthy eating and exercise, no matter what anyone says!

I lost at least three days of work and my entire weekend. And I’m still not 100%.

Five lessons I learned from this hellish and terrifying episode:

  1. I must silence that chubby girl and listen to my grown-ass-woman voice and the men and women who tell me I’m just fine at my current size.
  2. Still determined to live to 100 (or beyond), I must value my health above all.
  3. The media and the medical system are now making “miracle drugs” widely available, but some are not FDA-approved and may not have gone  through sufficient testing. With proper doses and supervision, they can be effective.  But do your homework.
  4. Perhaps I need to reconsider living year-round in Arizona. Back on the East Coast, I had long-term friends and family who could look after me. Aging without a support network sucks. After the fact,  locals may emerge and say, “You should have called me,” but I don’t trust their sincerity — and I guess I don’t know anyone well enough to ask. So, that’s on me too. But I have to give a huge shout-out to my big brother (a doctor), who checked in on me constantly and would have jumped on a flight if I really needed him.
  5. I can’t be afraid or embarrassed to use my online voice to educate and inspire others. For those of you who think my life is all Insta-glamorous, think again.

I took some pics over the past few days, which I’ll spare you. They will constantly remind me that a few extra pounds is way better than the alternative.

I’m not judging your choices. Just be careful, ask lots of questions, and Google the potential side effects.

Above all, make a list of the things you DO love about yourself. They’ll probably outweigh (pun intended) whatever the chubby girl has to say!




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