Bad Girl, Good Business

The 100 Years Club Installment #13: The first step: YOU help YOU

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Last week, I wrote about the three aspects of help:

  1. Self-help
  2. Helping others
  3. Learning to ask for help

Sounds pretty simple, right?

But you have to get the first one right to be able to do the other two.

I’m not talking about the public narcissistic navel-gazing that is so prevalent today on social media sites.

True self-help usually takes place in private and is a long game.

Over the many years I’ve been on the planet, I’ve realized that my ability to help others is directly tied to how I feel about myself and my life/work.

I’m clearly not alone. The personal development industry is valued at more than $42 billion. When you Google “self-help books,” you get more than 3 billion results.

I even asked Alexa how to become a better person, and “she” gave me a terrific concise answer and some practical tips.

Think not only about how self-help make you a better person but how being a better person will ultimately benefit others!

I’ll be delving into this more next week, but it’s probably the most important sentence in this whole blog.

Self-help can get more complicated as we age.

We are bombarded by images of youth and beauty in the media (conventional and digital) and sold products that will get us thinner, smarter, and richer at record speed.

The first generation that will live to be 100+ in record numbers, we need to tune out some of that noise and look internally for how to craft our own personal best, regardless of what celebrities and influencers are doing with their bodies, faces, and wallets.

Help yourself first by getting more comfortable within your own skin (whether than skin has wrinkles and scars or is as soft as a newborn’s butt).

  1. Set small and attainable goals.
  2. Ask your friends and other trusted advisors about what you can do better.
  3. Look to experts for ways to improve. Seek out a helping professional if you’re really feeling stuck or depressed. The key word here is EXPERTS. So many self-proclaimed gurus are dispensing unhealthy information. Choose your sherpas well and listen to them.
  4. Journal so you can track your progress. (My cousin launched a cool journaling system. See the link below).
  5. Celebrate your successes every day!

Above all, be aware of those things you have 100% control over versus those outside your powers. When bad or unexpected stuff happens (and it will) or someone in your life pushes the wrong buttons (which they will), pay close attention to how those things impact your mood and view, quickly process the impact, get help if you need it, and train yourself to rebound rapidly.

#5 is the most important.

You may feel as if you’re not making progress quickly enough, or you will never measure up to other people.

First, forget about those other people.

Your only “competition” is you.

  • What can YOU do today, tomorrow, this month, or this year?
  • What tools and people do you need to accomplish that?
  • How will you get there (in baby steps)?

So, whether you want to empty out the self-help section in Amazon, listen to your creepy device, or attend workshops, create a plan this month for becoming the best version of YOU today and every day — no matter what age and stage you are!

Help yourself to these links:

BGGB.OkeyDokey-fred Join the Journal Party!
BGGB_ShakingHands How to find a therapist/counselor
BGGB_Thumbs-Down-fred STOP comparing yourself to others!
BGGB_Pointer Recommended self-help books from Good Housekeeping






  1. Very good advice, Nancy.

  2. Communication…honest communication has always been my goal. With some, I find it easy. With others, not so much. I learn about myself by keeping in touch with people, and by being honest about where I am in life and how I am living. Thanks for your post.

  3. Journaling has helped me a lot over the past 36 years. Its a great way to ‘talk to yourself’ and get out problems that take up too much head space. Great recommendations.

  4. Thanks, Nancy. I wish I could say “I do all the things I should,” but I know I have gaps… room for improvement.


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