The 100 Years Club Installment #124: “ME Do It!”

Toddlers often declare their independence with those three words.

As a mother (and now grandmother), I encouraged my kids and grandkids try and often fail. Because that’s how we learn.

I gave them tasks to do and attempted to guide them.

As a business leader, I’ve hired new talent and given them tips, but I also give them a hearty dose of independence (which requires trust and patience).

Scaling a business requires delegation. You can keep saying, “ME Do It!” but you’ll never be able to learn and grow if you do everything yourself.

How do you examine your own help style?

I’ve been writing about the topic for years now (usually in May, which also happens to be Mental Health Awareness Month and the celebration of Mother’s Day). I hope it’s helpful. It includes asking yourself:

• What kinds of help do you really need?
• What’s the best way to ask for it? Who should you ask?
• Why and how do you offer help to others (or not)?
• How will AI help us in the future?

Last year’s post about help was pretty thorough and answered the first three questions. I’ll be helping you answer the fourth one via this FREE event.

What’s behind the “ME do it!” syndrome?

According to a great article in the Harvard Business Review, people have six basic reasons for not asking for help.

1. Feelings of vulnerability
2. Need to be independent
3. Fear of losing control
4. Fear of rejection
5. Overempathizing with others
6. Sense of victimhood

As for #6, I’ve grown weary of people talking about how busy they are or why they can’t scale their companies when they refuse to seek help from anyone, and/or don’t listen to subject matter experts.

Yeah, we’ve all had “helpers” who created messes or disappointed us, but if you know exactly what type of help you need and where to find it, you’ll ultimately realize that giving and taking help can enrich your life and work.

How else has my view of help changed over the years?

• I no longer help those who reject every idea and don’t appreciate my time and thoughts.
• When clients don’t pay on time, I stop helping them.
• Listening to others — especially the right people — can be a game changer!
• Learning to ask for help—and knowing exactly who to ask—is both an art and a science. I don’t keep a scorecard, but I try to give and take when in relationships where the balance is way off or someone offers me “brilliant” ideas without understanding what I’m looking for.

“ME Do It” has become “Let’s Do This Together” and (so far) it doesn’t seem to involve childish temper tantrums — just a collaborative life where we all work together to get sh*t done!