The 100 Years Club Installment #101: Setting My Table
Reading Time: 2 minutesAs I get older, I’m becoming more selective about who gets a seat at my metaphorical table.
(BTW…those weird AI-generated people in the cover photo clearly don’t know how to behave at dinner.)
During the Thanksgiving season, we can’t always choose who comes to the feast, but we need to prepare ourselves for any unpleasantness that may ensue.
Watch this interview with a psychologist about how to “pre-game” for the feast when dealing with relatives and others who irk you.
Although I’ve always had an eclectic group of connections and often speak to strangers, I am now choosing to be very selective about who enters my life and inner circle.
I recently hosted this virtual “Feast of Friends” to kick off the holidays.
Watch it here!
I chose people I’ve known for several months to 25+ years. Although they are very different people (and I have very different relationships with each of them), they have certain traits in common:
- Kindness
- Humor
- Ability to give and get feedback respectfully (although I’ve had radically different views from each of them at various times)
- Accountability and responsibility. This can be as simple as calling or texting me back when I reach out. They are comfortable asking for help too!
From my two podcast experiences this month, I learned that true friends (the people invited to sit at your feast table) know how to give and receive, inspire and provide feedback, make me smile, make me wiser, and make me feel valued. And I hope I can always do the same for them.
They are the people who, at a real feast table, pass the dishes around before they are asked, jump up to help wash them, and are grateful for the invitation.
Those who belch and fart loudly, hog the stuffing, complain about the food, cause drama, and leave without a thank you (metaphorically, of course) are no longer welcome.
Of course, I’ll always set a place for the needy, lonely person with no plans.
As we enter the new year, ask yourself who belongs at YOUR table?
Laughing. Yes, Theresa from “New Jersey Housewives” is a definite no. I feel lucky. Our family has had over 60 Thanksgivings together and very little drama, if any. You’re smart to invite only those who bring peace.
As a child, I remember the large family Thanksgivings that were generally happy. No one wanted to sit next to Aunt A who complained constantly about this or that physical ailment, but no fights. I am always sad to hear about how certain friends hate going home because of family dysfunction, drunk relatives that get nasty, or political fights.
We live far from both our families but are blessed to have our children living nearby that we love getting together with and a few close friends.