The 100 Years Club Installment #80: Avoid the Kvetchfest
Reading Time: 3 minutes“Kvetch” is a Yiddish term that means “complain.”
It can be used as both a noun and a verb.
Kvetchfest is not a real thing like Coachella or Burning Man.
But I use the term to refer to a period of time during which someone derives fun and entertainment from talking without pause about all the misery in their lives or the negative side of everyday things they spot in their lives.
My daughter often calls me out when I get too negative, and I always appreciate that. I have come in contact with enough of “those people,” and I don’t want to be one of them.
Whenever I have a phone conversation, a date, or a get-together with a friend that turns into what I call “a whine and cheese party,” I’m reminded of how toxic negativity can be—especially as we age.
That’s not to say we shouldn’t speak honestly about our challenges at this (or any stage) in our lives. But making it the focal point of all our interactions can be exhausting to the person who’s listening (the kvetchee?).
On the flip side — When I’m put into a position of being the mood booster, cheerleader, or muse, I feel drained at the end of the interaction.
“I feel so much better!” someone may declare at the end of our conversation. I am gratified that I was able to help, but sometimes, I feel drained.
A fine line exists between providing help and guidance to a good friend and being the object of what’s called “an energy vampire.”
Among some of the topics that can easily spin out into a kvetchfest are:
- Health issues. They can be real and profound. But simple aches, pains, and details of doctors’ visits may cross the line.
- Dating woes. Need I say more? Dating after 50 is not easy. But, if you plan to find your person, you must hold on to hope and positivity. And, if you’re on a first date, I can bet your suitor doesn’t want to hear you drone on about your ex, bunions (see #1), or less-than-stellar golf swing.
- Work challenges. Try to leave them at the office (or home office).
I’m working on breaking my tendency to look at the lemons rather than hunker down and make lemonade.
In fact, writing this article and researching the links (below) made me smile! I’ve discovered that both writing and dispensing self-help advice to others are always mood-boosters.
I was just talking about this! Good timing!